WHICH ONES ARE WORTH HAVING?
I heard the saddest statistic yesterday.
It had to do with Down’s syndrome and pre-natal tests.
It is routine nowadays to screen all pregnant women for Down’s syndrome. That, as you know, is a genetic condition which leaves people who have it with a characteristic look, some health problems and a degree of mental retardation.
They used to be called mongoloids.
And they used to be shut up in institutions. When a Down’s baby was born, the recommendation was to put it away, in a state hospital usually, where it would live a wretched, short and unhappy life. They were treated like animals, and they developed into animals.
Fortunately, times and thinking have changed. And now Down’s children are brought home and raised like any other child. They often develop into very functional people, able to go to school and even get jobs and live on their own.
TV shows have featured them as actors and characters, and they are often mainstreamed into regular life. They are happy and loving members of families and communities.
And if you were to ask people about folks with Down’s syndrome, and how comfortable they felt around them, or what sort of lives they should live, you would almost universally get the same answer: They are wonderful people who truly are people, capable of loving and contributing, who should not be discriminated against or pigeonholed.
Which is why the statistic shocked me.
And saddened me.
Among women whose unborn babies screen positive for Downs syndrome, what percentage of them get an abortion as a result?
Did you understand the question? If you had 10 women, all of whom had been told their unborn child has Down’s syndrome, how many of them would abort it? How many would decide that having a Down’s child was not worth the hassle? How many would choose to have no child rather than a handicapped child?
Any idea?
The answer is nine. Nine of 10 Downs fetuses are aborted. Ninety percent.
I guess they’re OK on TV, but not in the family room. And I guess we think they’re real people as long as they’re in somebody else’s family.
Fast food, permanent press clothes, and easy children. That’s all we have the time for. That’s all we have the heart for.
Shame on us.
And how wildly arrogant of us. To think that somehow we know better than God or nature what kind of child we should have. How incredibly shortsighted and selfish. What a demonstration of a lack of faith – in God and in ourselves.
What blessings we are closing off to ourselves.
I probably don’t know what I’m talking about. My children were born strong and vigorous and sound in body and mind. I have never sat in a doctor’s office and held those test results in my hand. I do not truly know what it is like.
And I know that no one but the people in a situation can make a decision or live with its consequences. And none of us has the right to criticize them.
But right is right and wrong is wrong.
And I am sad that 90 percent of us make a decision which I am certain is fundamentally wrong.
I think that handicapped children come to certain families for a reason. I believe it is because those families are special. I mean special in that there is something in them which is better or stronger, something which Providence wishes to bring out through this uncommon circumstance.
I also believe that Downs children – like other handicapped children – typically give more to a family than they take. The experience may not be easy, but it often is rich. There often is a poignancy and love, and a growth of understanding, which many other families never know.
The parents of Downs children often rejoice in those children. They love them as intensely and purely as any child can be loved, and they are loved back just as enthusiastically.
I know it sounds trite, but I honestly believe that handicapped children can teach a family many precious things. In fact, I think that may be the reason they most generally come to certain families. I believe God puts the best spirits – the purest and most intelligent spirits – into bodies with handicapped minds. I also believe that we may someday learn those spirits agreed to be born into such circumstances so that they could be of eternal benefit to their families – as an act of love.
If there is a life after this – and I believe there is – and mentally handicapped people are freed from the imperfect bodies of mortality, I think we will find that they are giants. I think we will find that they are the wisest and most godlike and most loving. And I believe that their association with their families in this life will help their families to gain those same traits.
We all have a purpose on this earth. We all have talents. We all were sent here for a reason, to accomplish certain things and to give specific service.
And that is as true of Downs syndrome people – and all handicapped people – as it is of anyone.
What a foolish thing to sabotage that purpose, and to deny ourselves of those blessings, by choosing not to have these children.
- by Bob Lonsberry © 2009
