THE GOVERNOR DAVE SCANDAL
I don’t care who David Paterson is or is not sleeping with.
Bedrooms have doors on them for a reason, and what happens behind them is none of my business.
Or anyone else’s for that matter.
And yet we’ve got this pre-occupation with some sort of scandal involving the New York governor that is right around the corner. Supposedly, the “New York Times” is working on some sort of expose and, according to the rumors, it was all going to explode yesterday and Governor Dave was going to resign.
Only he wasn’t.
At least not according to his spokesman.
According to his spokesman, there’s also no scandal to be exposed. According to the spokesman, it’s all a plot to damage what little remains of Governor Dave’s image.
And that’s probably right.
Governor Dave has had the misfortune of ticking off a Cuomo, a Kennedy and an Obama. He’s lucky he hasn’t turned up in the Long Island Sound in a pair of cement overshoes.
And he can’t be surprised that his reluctance to disappear politically has brought out the long knives.
Here’s the background.
Governor Dave got to be Governor Dave because Governor Client 9 had a thing for hiring prostitutes across state lines. That made a governor out of a lieutenant governor who was picked to be lieutenant governor because he was, well, uh, well, er, uh, black.
And dull enough not to show up Client 9.
But somebody whispered about Client 9’s extracurricular activities and he very quickly became a former governor.
And Governor Dave became current governor who, first thing, confessed to a number of extramarital affairs. Then he confessed on behalf of his wife to a number of extramarital affairs.
OK, that was creepy.
But he said he didn’t want his past and any skeletons in his closet to interfere with his ability to govern.
And they didn’t.
Unfortunately, incompetence did.
This guy is a stinker. Probably a very nice guy personally, he would be on the dumb side of stupid. The state now finds itself officially in “Hindenburg” mode.
Times are bad. If New York had a photogenic governor, or anyone left living in it, it – and not California – would be the poster child for state collapse in America.
But, for every trash heap, there are a dozen rats clamoring to be king.
Which brings us to Andrew Cuomo.
He wants to be governor. Really, really bad. One problem, however, is that New York already has a governor. And he doesn’t seem to be willing to give it up.
Cuomo isn’t a declared candidate, and he won’t talk about seeking the governor’s office, and he’s offered no suggestions or plans for how to fix New York, but he has a massive lead over Governor Dave in the polls.
Yet Governor Dave won’t capitulate.
And in recent weeks he’s even had the temerity to publicly challenge Andrew Cuomo.
And now we’re hearing about a scandal.
In America, folks might not see a connection. But in New York, which is just across the Pennsylvania border from America, folks can’t see anything but a connection.
Rather than fight Governor Dave on the issues – and run the risk of alienating people who are, uh, well, er, well, uh, black – a handy scandal comes along to destroy Governor Dave.
Just like one came along to destroy Governor Client 9.
What a happy coincidence – if your name is Andrew Cuomo.
What a big serving of business as usual – if you are a regular New Yorker.
Governor Dave didn’t appoint the Kennedy lady to the Senate. He dared to run against Andrew Cuomo. And he didn’t withdraw when Barack Obama suggested that he ought to.
So now it’s going this route.
Like two dogs fighting over road kill.
The politics of personal destruction played out as part of one more power grab.
When really none of us care who David Paterson is screwing, if we could just get the government to stop screwing us.
- by Bob Lonsberry © 2010
